Beginner's Dildo Guide

Although no one can quite pin down how the word “dildo” emerged into usage, most people are quick to label this as one of the staples of a sex toy collection. I can now count myself among those people; although, I once didn't have use for any toy that didn't vibrate. I now own—and love—several dildos of my very own, and wouldn't part with them for the life of me. Of course, if you're new to sex toys or dildos, you might not feel so firmly attached to the idea of this type of sex toy. Maybe you just haven't found the one that works for you.

A Dildo is any object meant to be inserted, either vaginally or anally. Dildos with the right shape can be many people have tried this with household items, but dildos are manufactured to be safe for insertion and so they won't break! Of course, the intended usage is often forgotten as you might enjoy rubbing a dildo on your breasts, clitoris or other body part. And if you're a man? Dildos are made for you, too!

Dildos facilitate BDSM and gender play. Strap-ons allow women to take the reign or for men to double penetrate their partners. Dildos can be used to experience a different gender role, and packing dildos are created specifically for this purpose. As it turns out, dildos are more versatile than even I once thought.

If you first think of a giant dildo, complete with testicles and see-through jelly, then you're thinking of the realistic dildos. These sex toys are intended to mimic an actual penis, with a contoured head and other body parts. Realistic dildos might be much larger than a penis or are modeled after a porn star's penis, as is the case with the John Holmes Realistic Dildo. This type of dildo is often available in jelly, but manufacturers of silicone sex toys offer realistic dildos with and without balls. The John Doe has a realistic shaft but a rounded base that might be less intimidating, if you or your partner might be a little uncomfortable with the design.

Although the contoured design of realistic dildos may adequately stimulate your G-spot, it might not do the trick. A G-spot dildo has a hook or curve at the end, specifically meant to stimulate this sensitive spot on the front wall of a woman's vagina. The curve can also be ideal for prostate stimulation, when used anally by a man. Examples of this type of dildo include the fan favorite Ella by Lelo, which is available in multiple silicone colors, and the beautiful pink glass Icicles No. 24 that offers rigid stimulation for the most hardy of G-spots.

Strap-on dildos are intended to give the wearer the experience of having a cock. They're great for heterosexual couples who want to switch things up, and lesbians can enjoy them as well. The dildo itself has a flat base that secures to a harness worn around the giver's thighs and waist—although, some harnesses are worn around the leg, head or knee—with an O-ring, while the dildo sits perpendicularly from the wearer's body. Most of Tantus' dildos are strap-on compatible. Cheaper alternatives include the Grrl Toyz Silicone Strap On Dong and Sportsheets Sedeux Please. Harness kits like the Flame Harness Kit include the harness and strap-on, which include everything you need to get started. Otherwise, you can buy a separate strap-on with O-rings and even pair it with your existing favorite dildo!

One special category of strap-on dildos is the so-called strapless dildos. Rather than using a harness, dildos like the Love Rider allow you to penetrate the recipient, while another end angles into your own vagina. Many of this design can still be used with a harness, but it adds another option when you shop.

Anal Dildos

One of the benefits of strap-ons, is that the flared base makes them safe for anal play as well. However, some manufacturers make dildos specifically for anal play. For instance, rippled dildos and plugs fall into this category. The former are intended for movement within the anal tract, while the latter are usually inserted into place and remain there during play. These toys may be marketed especially toward men; however, most of them of usable by all genders. In fact, most G-spot dildos work just as well for a man's anal needs. Just remember to only used toys with flared bases in the back end.

If you've ever seen “lesbian” porn, where the women each inserted an end of a dildo into their vagina, then you understand the concept of the double dildo. These sex toys tend to be long and flexible like the Raging Double Dong, but may not be as practically in real life as porn suggests. Often made from jelly and rubber, these might not be the safest of all material choices. Pipedream has offered a unique experience with their glass Icicles. No. 23 double ended dildo, however. Some dildos incorporate multiple textures on either end, serving as two sex toys in one, even if you just use it solo. The extra length also offers a place to firmly grip the dildo as you use it.

Of course, it's difficult to name every type and style of dildo, and manufacturers are coming up with new models on a daily basis. A lot of toys fall into multiple categories, as is the case of several prostate toys, too. One thing I'd like to mention is the benefit of using a suction cup with your dildo. Dildos with battery holes at the base, like those from Tantus, allow you to insert a separate suction cup. Many manufacturers include the suction cup right in the design, allowing you to stick it to the side of your shower or a wall, for a hands-free experience.
Remember, if you decide to swap toys between orifices or with your partners, you should either use a condom that you replace between toys or stick to a non-porous material such as silicone, metal or glass, which you can sterilize with a 10% bleach mixture or by boiling. Lubricant is absolutely your friend when you insert toys. When using dildos that contain any silicone, it's best to use only water-based lube because it's compatible with all materials. You may prefer a silicone lube because it's slicker and is compatible with plastic and jelly toys, among others.

Check out other guides by Joelle Zigman

Whether you want to smart small or want a dildo like no other, you're sure to find one that suits your preferences and needs.