When I started doing BDSM and other kinky things with my partner, it opened up a whole new world of possibilities! We started dabbling in things we never thought we’d enjoy, and it turns out that we loved it! Foreplay and other activities are much, much easier when you have so many choices available for what to do, and when you always have something new you can try, it’s hard for sex to seem like the same act over and over. Plus, we both found ourselves talking more openly about sex, and there’s something about trusting my partner so implicitly that really brought more trust and communication to our relationship. Including kink and BDSM in our sex just really seemed to make us “connect” on a deeper level than just regular sex did.
Once we found that we liked doing kinky things in the bedroom, we wanted to continue to take it further. We joined local groups of people who meet together to discuss kinky things, and we learned a ton of new things that we never would have thought about. We moved on from doing softer bondage to harder bondage, but even so, we still revisit softer bondage sometimes as it’s much more sensual. In fact, if you want a fun fact, our first bondage kit was the Sexy Slave Kit which includes items for everything I’ll be recommending in this article. To this day, we still have kept it around for playing with and because it holds such fond memories.
When you want to get kinky, you don’t have to break out the whips and chains for the first time! In fact, it’s dangerous to jump so far in so quickly! Instead, try some of these types of items to get your bondage and fetish adventures started off on the right foot. (Make sure to also read the caution at the end of this article before playing as well.)
Take Their Vision
Did you know that, when you restrict someone’s sense of sight, all of the other senses become stronger? With that in mind, it’s no surprise that one of the most-used kinky items is the blindfold! Coming in multiple colors and multiple choices of material, the blindfold is made to block out light to keep the wearer from seeing what’s going on around them. When your partner can’t see, it leaves you free to surprise them with where your hands are and to leave them guessing about where you’re going to touch them next which can heighten the sexual pleasure. Many blindfolds are made from leather, but if you want a vegan option, there are blindfolds made from felt and non-leather materials as well.
When choosing a blindfold, choose a color that appeals to you. If possible, look for a blindfold that uses an elastic headband as those tend to be the most comfortable. Some blindfolds come with a gag or other accessories attached straight to the blindfold, but for your first blindfold, I recommend sticking to the blindfold-only type. One of my favorites is the Purple Fur Blindfold as it is very comfortable, blocks out all light, and looks sexy on your partner.
Try Soft Bondage
Despite what you may have seen on television, not all bondage has to rough and leather-filled. In fact, there are many cuffs that are made from soft materials like felt, cotton, or silk for softer bondage. Even though most television shows portray the cuffs as locking on, these softer bondage cuffs usually fasten through Velcro or a small tie on the side. All of this added together makes soft bondage cuffs the best choice for when you’re looking to start off in bondage (I know it’s what we started with!). The Silk Sash Restraints are a good start as they’re soft, silky, flexible, and it’s easy to tie them exactly how you’d like them.
There’s something especially fun about being consensually restrained for sexual pleasure. While you may normally lay there and enjoy what your partner is doing, a new dimension of pleasure is added when you’re being “forced” to lay back and enjoy what they’re doing without any chance of being able to “escape”. It requires a trust for your partner as well as it allows you to let go of your feeling to reciprocate and just enjoy the sensations. This basic concept is why most people enjoy bondage.
Up the Ante with Tickling
Do you know what goes amazingly with a blindfold and soft bondage? Yes, that’s right – tickling! The skin becomes so much more sensitive once a person is aroused, and when you mix that with the fact that someone is restrained and can’t see what’s going to happen next, tickling and light touches can be a very, very arousing combination. Sadly, the human body doesn’t have any feathers on it, but luckily, sex toy manufacturers understand the need, and there are quite a few different Ticklers on the market.
A tickler is designed to allow you to apply a soft, sensual touch to your partner that differs from the feeling of fingers. Ticklers come in many different varieties including a soft group of feathers, a singular feather, rubber tickling strands, strands of metal balls, and others. Depending on your preference, you can get ticklers with foot-long handles (to make it easier to tease without needing to touch your partner and “expose” where you’re standing) as well as ticklers that have a short handle for close contact. In fact, if you want something that goes double-duty, some ticklers come straight with a whip attached on the other end, so you can easily go from naughty to nice. One of my favorites is the Chain Tickler as the chains easily absorb temperature which allows you to warm or cool the little metal balls before chilling or warming your partner’s skin – it’s a blast!
Take a Shortcut
If half of the fun for you is the shopping itself, have fun picking out each one of the individual accessories. However, if you are, like me, and would rather spend that time actually using the items, you can easily take a “shortcut” and pick up a Bondage Kit! These kits are kits meant for beginners to bondage and include beginner items to get you started on your bondage journey. Each one of the kits will vary, but most kits include some sort of restraints. From there, the kit may include a blindfold, some sort of whip or tickler, a gag, a collar, a leash, or other accessories!
In fact, if you have a specific idea in mind, some of the bondage kits can really help. For example, the Do Not Disturb kit comes with a Do Not Disturb door sign for a pseudo-hotel room feel while the Glow in the Dark Bondage Kit lets you experience playful fun as you do your bondage in the dark.
Caution!
Bondage and fetish play isn’t something that you should embark on with someone you’ve just met. Sure, it’d be hot if Mr. Sexy tied you up and “forced” you to enjoy the most pleasure you’ve ever enjoyed, but what if Mr. Sexy ties you up and leaves you there – or does things that you don’t like nor enjoy. Bondage and fetish play is a bunch of fun, but make sure to journey into it with someone you already know and trust. There’s a tip I was taught that I will pass on to you: Would you feel truly safe being naked, blindfolded, and tied up to a bed with no way to escape with this person? If the answer is yes, then this may be the right person for you, but if you’re unsure, try a less extreme version of bondage and kink.
For example, if you’re unsure, only agree to use Velcro bondage cuffs that you can easily escape or agree that you’ll only wear a blindfold if your hands are free to take it off. Sex is fun, but your personal safety should always come first.
I hope that these tips help you explore the realm of bondage and kink like you haven’t before! It can be a really, really sexy way to bring you and your partner together, and it has done a wonder for my partner and I, and even after years of being kinky, we still are exploring and finding new things to do together. Half of the fun is the journey itself!